a couple holding personalized booklets, one titled "reasons i want to marry you" and the other "reasons i love you." the person on the left wears a dark suit, and the one on the right is in a light blue dress with floral details.

Wedding Vows – to have and to hold or to wash the dishes…

The wedding vows can be whatever you want them to be- there is one statement that must legally be stated but apart from that you have free reign on the words spoken. As the wedding ceremony I run is not religious there is no requirement to have the words you often hear on TV at weddings! Your vows should reflect you as individuals and you as a couple. The things said at your wedding will be remembered by all your guests and you can choose whether they are short and sweet or more elaborate.

As a celebrant I have to ensure you say your full name, your beloved’s full name and that you take them to be your legal spouse. An example of this could be; I, {full name}, take you, {full name}, to be my legal husband/wife/partner. Depending on what you are going to call your spouse the end word can change. Even if you are referred to with a nickname throughout the wedding, it is a legal requirement to use your full name at some point in the ceremony.

The rest of the vows can be the same for both of the couple or completely personalised – you can search up many different vows on the internet or get creative and write your own. I have one couple where the bride has used her poetic skills and written a special poem to read with her to be husband, pulling together memories of the 18 years together. I have married another couple who just wanted to read the legal statements and get the paperwork signed. I can accommodate anything that your hearts desire.


If your mind is a complete blank but you want to add a little personal flair to the vows I can support you through by asking some questions – it is a fun activity to draft vows together, brings out some giggles and also creates anticipation for the day if you don’t share them with each other – a little bit of mystery for the day. The use of AI is growing in writing those special day words so don’t forget to use it as a tool but always check it through incase it has misunderstood you and makes you read something unplanned on your big day.


You can use song words in your vows, as long as you are not repeating the whole thing – that might not have the effect you are dreaming of! Pulling out the lines from a song or quotes from movies can help relax the mood but also really tone your guests into what you are saying – they may too share that memory with you making it an inclusive ceremony.


Whatever words you choose to celebrate with, Raise a Glass Celebrants can help craft vows special and unique to you as a couple.